Little girls...

There are certain songs that touch me.  They reach all the way down to the core of who I am as a mom and a woman.  Lately the ones that bring me instantly to tears are the ones that have to do with children growing up too fast.  When my girls hear these songs on the radio or during a favorite movie they instantly look to see my reaction with a knowing understanding that there will be tears.  

One of these songs is "Slipping Through My Fingers" from Mama Mia with Meryl Streep's beautiful voice singing these touching lyrics: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOD_bVAvz4I

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning

Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while

The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone, there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny

What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(Slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why, I just don't know

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

The other is song is "Dream" by Priscilla Ahn.  This one kills me.  In a good way.  It makes me feel emotional and so thankful for everything I have and hopefully will have in this lifetime.   It makes me love my children more and makes me cherish the time I have with my parents and step-parents!  I am so lucky.  And I know it.  But this song still makes me tear up!  
http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/disturbia/dream.htm

I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me. 
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green. 

I had a dream 
That I could fly from the highest swing. 
I had a dream. 

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be. 
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep. 

I had a dream 
That I could fly from the highest tree. 
I had a dream. 

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave. 
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing. 

I had a dream"

This one touches me as a both a mother and a daughter. I cry every time I hear it.  Sometimes through laughter, knowing my girls are watching me and feeling silly and sad all at the same time.   I know if I stop laughing I would just have a good old fashioned crying session and bawl my eyes out.   Like many my age I'm sandwiched between my children that are growing too quickly and my parents who are getting older each day.  I am also middle aged and look in the mirror each morning to see more gray hairs, more laugh lines, and more wrinkles that don't go away when I'm not smiling. Time is passing and I just wish it would stay still.  I was that little girl and now I'm watching my little girls play in the woods the same way I remember playing as if it was only yesterday.   I'm sure my parents must feel the same way.  

Sadly both of my husbands parents died young.  His father less than a year after we were married and his mom ten years later.  When a neighbor's grandfather passed away after being married to his wife for 65 years he had the sad realization that neither of his parents had even lived that long.   I know life is fleeting.  I know I have been so fortunate with my own health, my children's health and my parents health.  I still get sad when I think how fleeting life is.  I wish we could just stop it and cherish every second of every passing day.  But then there are groceries to shop for, dogs that need walking and dinner that needs cooking.  In between the taxiing of children and the picking up of clutter another day has passed by.  These songs make me stop and listen and make me hope that I'm cherishing my children's childhoods as much as they need to be cherished.   I'm like a new parent watching a hallmark commercial.  I finally understand why my mom was so quick to tears during the movies of my childhood.  

This is one of the reasons my husband and I decided that it was time to buy our lake house.  Our oldest is heading off to high school next year and is almost as tall as her mom.  Her foot size surpassed mine over a year ago.  Our middle daughter with be in her second year of middle school and our youngest only has one more year in elementary school.  How did the time go so quickly?  We know how precious these next four years will be with all of us still under one roof.  We know how important family time and vacations will be as the girls blossom into teenagers and young women and they look to spend more and more time with friends.

We want to own our cottage while my parents and step parents are young enough to enjoy it fully.  We want them to spend time there with their grandchildren and us.  We want them to have time there alone.  We also want our girls to grow attached to Duck Head while they are still relatively litte girls that still want to jump off docks, build fairy houses in the woods, and lounge outside in the sun reading books.  While they still want to spend time playing boggle, and mafia and rummicub and do puzzles with their parents.  We want them to feel like this cottage is "home" so that when they are busy with high school, away at college, or starting their lives they will want to come home to the cottage for some of their weekends.   When life gets tough and they need some solitude that they have a place that welcomes them home. It makes me sad to think how little of my life my children will live under the same roof as I do. "The days are long but the years are short" is unfortunately so true.  I hope this cottage gives the girls another place they want to come home to and spend time with their family!  They will always be my little girls, no matter how quickly they are growing...
-K

"Enjoy the little things in life, because one day you will look back, 

and realize they were the big things."