A few weeks ago I had one of those weeks. Everyone cancelled on me. You think I'm exaggerating but I'm not. Literally every single one of my plans every day all week got cancelled. And not by me. So on Thursday night when Rod came home and told me he was heading to the lake alone that night to help his brother take out the boat the next day I'd had enough. I got mad, frustrated, annoyed. All the feelings.
I had literally had the lake written on our calendar for that weekend for two months. It had been a while since we'd been there to check on my baby, yes our lake cottage is my 6th baby-my 3 girls, then my 2 dogs, then our cottage. I wanted to just check in as we'd had a few renters this fall and being me I had bags of things to bring up and lots of little to do projects I just wanted done up there. The weekend had already been cut short by Rod and H needing to come home for a hockey game Saturday at 4:00 (why oh why are sports ALWAYS smack dab in the middle of weekends?!) I had expressed to Rod that I didn't want to drive up separately since it was only for one day and the girls didn't really want to go anyway. Spring and fall are not as fun for the kids. It usually means work weekends or quiet weekends at the lake as there is no swimming or boating or skiing and skating. Rod and I love those kinds of weekends but the kids not so much. He left Thursday and I'd come to terms with the fact that the girls and I were staying home. But I was cranky about it all day Friday, really cranky.
I was the only one that had even wanted to go to the lake and then my plans all got turned upside down because my husband doesn't plan ahead. He's a last minute guy and I'm a planner and it is probably the thing that drives us craziest about each other! So I was working out Friday afternoon and sulking about not being able to go to the lake when I realized I could go, by myself, for 3 nights! And better yet I didn't need to come home till Monday in time to pick up the kids from school. I could not have been happier to have decided on this! All my plans had been cancelled that week and I was suddenly so happy to be heading to the lake for more alone time! Three days and nights of it!! I happily packed up a bag, grabbed a few groceries from the fridge and a pumpkin spice latte with coconut milk from Starbucks and I hit the road. I didn't even bring the dogs!
Most people don't like to spend time alone. I'm an extroverted introvert. Or maybe it's vice versa. I enjoy solitude. I enjoy time alone walking in the woods listening to my own inner voice. I enjoy planning and having nothing get in the way of my plans. I enjoy quiet. And I definitely enjoy time to do projects. When plans with friends that week get cancelled I was starting to get cranky though and I was feeling a little whoa is me that week. Funny how planned solitude feels very different than forced solitude. And a lot less lonely! I found this quote and it reigns true to me. "There is a difference between loneliness and solitude, one will empty you and one will fill you. You have the power to choose."
As I was driving to the lake I decided that I wanted to read a book, do yoga, watch movies, maybe work on a puzzle a little bit and get a few projects checked off my to do list. I stopped at Target in Keene for a new book, a purple yoga mat and a few groceries for my minimalist meals I'd planned for myself for the weekend.
The trees were turning into beautiful shades of red orange and yellow, the sky was bright blue, it was a crisp fall afternoon and I was looking forward to my weekend ahead! I got to the lake just before dark and unloaded the car like a mule. With 36 steps between the car and the cottage I tend to try to take all the bags down in one fell swoop. I made myself shrimp and pepper quesadillas and settled in with a glass of wine to unpack and watch a movie.
Saturday I woke up and drank my coffee while just watching the world go by. I can stare out at the lake for hours. We tend to entertain a lot at the lake so I don't always take the opportunity to do just that. There is something so peaceful to me about woods and water. It is truly my happy place. After coffee I ended up doing projects most of the day Saturday. Reorganizing shelves in the living room, bathroom and totally rehabbing the kitchen. Literally moved everything around. Since we bought the house furnished we had kept things the way the previous owners had organized it. I suddenly decided it didn't work for our family. Plus we had far too many things in this small kitchen, some we had literally never used in the 4 years we've owned the cottage. Time for the excess to go and make room for more space! With renters using our cottage we often come back to disorganized cabinets. The less I have to reorganize the better. I don't mind. It's kind of like a treasure hunt for me to figure out what is out of place and put it back where it belongs. I'm a little type A. I did some laundry and cleaned a bit too. When I realized it was getting near the end of the day I turned on my new reading light and started the fire and began my new book. I realized I hadn't even fit in any relaxing yet! I read till dinner where I cooked up some beef we had in the freezer and made myself a hamburger nourish bowl with rice, kale, tomatoes and hamburger. I settled in for a night of watching tv and flipping through magazines. My happy place!
Sunday I vowed to relax first. I did yoga and read my book until I finished it. Then I tackled the owners closet. When you have a space to store stuff you tend to keep too much. I cleared everything out of the tiny closet (Rod doesn't fit in here so organizing this space always falls to me). I was feeling a bit claustrophobic but quite accomplished. The stuff that filled that closet
I got back before dark and whipped up another solo dinner. I thought to myself at no time that weekend did I feel lonely. Just productive, content and like I was just where I needed to be. Sometimes if the timing works out it is not selfish to take some time for yourself but necessary. I always feel like I put everyone else's needs and to do's first and this weekend I put myself first. I came back refreshed, happy and feeling accomplished. After a weekend of solitude I also felt a lot less lonely. And I got to go check in on my baby. It was just what Duckhead and I needed. A little fall refresh!
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